Violet Evergarden Episode 1: "I Love You" and Auto Memory Dolls

Episode 1 introduces us to the main character, Violet Evergarden. Having spent pretty much her whole life in the army, life to Violet is a series of orders and missions to be obeyed. She has lost her own sense of agency. In Hodgins’ words, Violet has no will of her own. She needs someone to tell her what to do, and that figure was Gilbert. Her attachment to Gilbert runs so deep that even a trivial decision, such as picking a doll, is made in relation to him.

Violet thinks her worth is dependent on her usefulness as a “weapon” to Gilbert. She goes so far as to ask Hodgins to throw her away somewhere if she really isn’t useful anymore. Hodgins wishes to correct this thinking, so he starts by giving Violet a job unrelated to Gilbert. This doesn’t tackle the root of the problem yet –  namely equating usefulness with worth – but everyone has to start somewhere. Hodgins starts by showing Violet that she isn’t useless.

Violet's Identity as a Soldier

You probably won’t talk to close friends the way you talk to business partners. We adjust the way we act based on many things. Violet is incapable of this, since she doesn’t know anything outside the military. Therefore, her identity as a soldier is very intertwined with her sense of self. Violet often responds by using stiff military phrases such as “Understood (kashikomarimashita)” and “No problem (mondai arimasen)”. When asked to greet Mrs. Evergarden, Violet salutes her like a soldier instead of bowing down. This is why Hodgins has to use military terms when speaking to Violet (calling the new job at the post office a "mission", for example) because that is how she understands the world.

Violet can also say something uncomfortable without batting an eye. For example, she bluntly tells Ms. Evergarden that she cannot be a replacement for her dead son. We also see this in her conversation with the man who wishes to have a letter written at the end of the episode. Violet demands all the details from the man right there, at that very moment. I ascribe this not only to her lack of understanding about emotions, but also to the necessity for clarity in the army. Unclear directions can be a matter of life and death when you’re a soldier. You need to specifically know where the target is, when to attack, and all that or risk jeopardizing the whole mission. I think some people have also read this as signs that Violet is autistic.

Hands as a Symbol

There is an interesting shot where we are first shown blood dripping down a doll’s hand. And then, we are shown Violet’s own blood-stained hands. We also know that Violet has lost her arms and now uses prosthetics. The emphasis here is, of course, on hands. I think we can give meaning to hands as a symbol in several ways. First, Violet’s loss of her hands shows how war changes people. War makes people lose something.

The doll's hand

Violet's hand

However, Violet losing her arms can also symbolize her starting a new life outside that of being a soldier. Her flesh arms have taken the lives of many. They’re tainted with blood, just like what we saw in the doll imagery. One might even argue that losing her arms have some merit in a symbolic sense. Currently Violet doesn’t understand what she’s done, as exemplified in the “you’re burning” conversation with Hodgins. When she understands, she may not be able recover from the guilt if she has her real arms. There’s also a poetic sense to it. The hands that have taken the lives of many are now taken away. Today, Violet has new, clean arms, but because of the war, there is a price to pay. She doesn’t have sensation in those arms. This brings us to the third interpretation.

A shot of Violet through a fire lantern, nicely complementing the "you're burning" statement.

Hands can symbolize the ability to feel. The loss of it symbolizes the loss of the ability to feel, both physically and metaphorically. In the scene with Ms. Evergarden, Violet accidentally spills hot tea (I assume it’s tea) on her hands. She comments that she can’t feel the heat, since her new adamantine hands doesn’t have the ability to do so. Metaphorically, Violet loses the ability to feel* and/or comprehend emotions. Witnessing many horrible things in the army must have desensitized Violet. Sadly, many soldiers return home from war with severe PTSD. There's also a nice continuity between the scene with Ms. Evergarden and Hodgins' "you're burning" conversation: in both scenes, burns (yakedo) are mentioned.

*I’m unsure about using the word “feel”. I don’t think Violet is 100% unable to feel. We see later on (in Episode 6, for example) that she does feel, but doesn’t understand the emotions. She can’t label the emotion she’s feeling; she can’t give it a name.

Despite all these depressing things, Violet wants to feel again. During the carriage ride with Hodgins, we see Violet rubbing the dog doll to her face. I think she’s trying to feel the texture of the doll. Similarly, her desire to know the meaning of “I love you” demonstrates that she wants to learn to understand emotions.

Other Possible Symbols

One action that stood out to me is Violet using her mouth to hold the doll. We see this same action again in this episode: (1) Violet using her mouth in an attempt to drag Gilbert in the flashback, and (2) Violet using her mouth to fasten the gloves Ms. Evergarden gave her. I do think this is because (1) she didn't have any arms so the last thing she could do is use her mouth, and (2) she’s not used to the metal hands yet. I’ll mention this again in the review for episode three, because this action becomes more significant there. (Ironically, this action and Violet rubbing the doll to her face personally reminds me of the mannerisms of an animal.)

Lastly, we see Violet's dog doll lying on the ground, toppled over. It's highlighted around twice in this episode so I think there is a significance to it. Just like the previous point, if I'm not mistaken the dog doll being toppled over will gain more significance in a future episode, so let's save the discussion for later!

Conclusion

At the end of the episode, the girl who lacks agency starts to regain it back. She wants to know what “I love you” means. Since there are many kinds of and aspects to love, Violet has to be exposed to as many of them to understand the sentence as fully as possible. That is exactly what happens in the series. Violet goes on a journeys to meet new people and see the different kinds of “I love you” they express. Together, these different experiences form a mosaic of everything that love is.