Min-hyuk’s Loss of Self in Annarasumanara

Though initially presented as a mysterious figure, the magician in Annarasumanara is revealed to have a tragic past. R used to be a straight As student at school. However, he crumbled under the stress and pressure. This resulted in Min-hyuk losing his sense of self. We can see this through the panel above which comes from chapter 25 of the webtoon.

The Reflection on The Window

Chapter 25 of Annarasumanara details R’s past as Min-hyuk. We see how Min-hyuk tragically got more and more mentally unstable during his high school years. One day, Min-hyuk was about to take an exam. But when he looked at the window, he didn’t see himself reflected in it. He saw the thing depicted in the panel we’re discussing. He screamed upon looking at it and broke the window with a chair.

Prior to this panel, we can also see clues about Min-hyuk’s loss of self through Min-young’s - Min-hyuk's classmate - story in chapter 25. She recalls a conversation in which she asked Min-hyuk why he studies so hard. He said that he’s doing so simply because the adults told him to. They tell him that he has to become "an adult that is not a failure". Min-hyuk didn’t really know what he himself wants to do with his life. 

The same chapter then gives us this panel below that further hammers home the point about Min-hyuk’s loss of self. But what exactly is it? What are we looking at? I think we are looking at a distorted version of Min-hyuk's self. The panel shows Min-hyuk looking at his own reflection. Instead of seeing himself, however, he sees a disturbing combination of faces that are not his. When you look at your own reflection, you are supposed to be able to see your own face. The fact that Min-hyuk sees all these foreign faces instead demonstrates that he has lost his sense of self.

Now, let's study the panel more closely.

This part below is a faithful reflection of Min-hyuk’s body, complete with the white-collared shirt and dark vest.

Reflection of Min-hyuk's body.

Nevertheless, Min-hyuk did not see his face reflected in the window. Instead, he saw a messy fusion of several faces and eyes. I can isolate five different faces there and two floating eyes. 

The first face is the one on the left that looks like the side profile of a woman. There seems to be a round-like shape in front of her right eye. That might be glasses, but I’m not sure. It might just be one of the scribbles drawn over the portrait.

The first face

The second face is the large one on the right, which appears to be a man with glasses. I can’t clearly decipher the top part, but I think he might have blond hair.

The second face

The third face is a small one located on top, between the two faces we have seen. This one seems to have black hair. Somehow this face looks like a woman to me.

The third face

The fourth face is at the bottom, beneath the face of the man with glasses. This one also looks like a man with glasses.

The fourth face

The fifth face is at the very middle of all these faces. It is drawn very faintly. This fifth face is staring straight at us. The eyes, nose, and mouth are there.

The fifth face

And here are the two floating, ownerless eyes.

The floating eyes

Identifying the Faces

So, who are these faces? I don’t think we can be 100% sure, but I have some guesses. The first or the third face might be Min-hyuk’s mother, while the second face might be Min-hyuk’s father. Here’s what his parents look like in chapter 26.

The fourth face might be Min-hyuk’s high school teacher from chapter 25. (Though we don’t actually see the teacher as a “real” person since this depiction of him in the panel below is Min-hyuk’s hallucination.)

If those faces really belong to Min-hyuk’s parents and teacher, then it may mean that they are fellow contributors to Min-hyuk’s stress. We can also interpret the size of the faces. The bigger the face, perhaps the bigger the pressure they put on Min-hyuk.

The faint fifth face in the middle is probably Min-hyuk himself. It’s a very nice depiction of how he’s losing himself. Min-hyuk’s self is so overcrowded with other people’s expectations and voices – represented in his reflection by the hodgepodge of faces that are not his. He doesn’t know who he really is and what he truly wants. As a result, his own sense of self fades away.

I have more theories regarding these faces. I know that the candidates above aren’t a perfect fit for the reflections. For example, Min-hyuk’s teacher has a different face shape than face number four. Min-hyuk’s teacher has a square jaw, while face number four seems to have a round face. It might be that the faces Min-hyuk sees on the window are simply based on real people he knows. So while these reflections may share some traits with the people Min-hyuk knows, his unstable mental condition causes distortions to happen. Another idea is that these faces are not meant to be identifiable at all. This would really hammer home the fact that Min-hyuk's self has become completely unrecognizable.

Regardless of which of these theories is true, that panel in chapter 25 is a really impactful depiction of Min-hyuk’s loss of self. I still remember the shock when I first saw that panel! No wonder Min-hyuk couldn’t hold himself back from breaking the window. May R’s past teach us not to put too many burdening expectations on others and not to be too fixated on others’ expectations of us.